School, eh? You spent all your time trying to find a way out of learning stuff only to realise later in life that actually, when it boils down to it, they kind of had a point. Take physics as an example. There’s your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill type of subject. If, while I had been throwing bits of rubber at Mrs White and finding out what the average Bunsen burner temperature had to be in order to melt my lunch, someone had told me that physics would’ve come in handy someday, I’m sure I would’ve probably told them what to do with said physics and a certain orifice that a big ball of gas burning 91 million miles away doesn’t shine on.

And look! There you have it, yet another pointless fact lodged in the grey matter: the sun is 91 million miles away. 91 million! There’s something you’ll never need to know unless you’re perhaps an astronaut or a pub quizmaster. It’s not as if you’re going to wake up one day and think, ‘the cure for cancer…I have it! 91 million!’ or ‘wow this pasta’s tasty, but it could use a pinch of…91 million!’ or ‘Michael Bolton, he must be worth…91 million!’ (Sorry Mikey the truth hurts).

However, if they’d said “Jay, stop picking that and listen boy, if you learn physics you’ll have a greater understanding of what Valve went through to create Half-Life 2’s physics engine, in a few years time, when computers stop being crap” I might’ve thought the guy was on some expensive drugs – or I might have listened.

Luckily for me there’s more physics to practice, as that crazy helpful, wrench-wielding mute nerd Gordon Freeman’s back, with the long-awaited first part to a trilogy of episodic content from Valve. Itching for more groaning, face-hugging zombies or perhaps a seesaw puzzle or two? Then go grab yourself a copy off the shelf, or download it via Steam, as Half-Life 2: Episode One promises to deliver yet more combine to crush and pits to climb out of. Just one thing Valve, how come the chaps in the States get it half price eh?

Of course, if you haven’t completed Half-Life 2 yet, then this is going to be somewhat of a spoiler, so I’d stop reading now.

You were warned.

You just couldn’t help yourself could you? Very well. Episode One takes us back to the end of Half-Life 2 when the Citadel’s dark fusion reactor explodes. The G-Man decides to save Gordon but leaves Alyx behind. However, Alyx is saved thanks to the Vortigaunts who teleport in at the last minute to grab her, and then teleport over to grab Gordon off of G-Man before he can start rambling on in that I’ve-got-a-permanent-cold way of his.

For some unknown reason it is at this point that Gordon wakes up pinned under a bunch of rocks and is pulled to his rescue by Dog. Freeman is then reunited with Alyx and it’s soon after they learn that to help City 17 they have to go back into the very Citadel they spent so long getting out of, to stop the Citadel’s core from exploding and taking the city with it. So, here it starts, down the road once again of solving puzzles, defeating critters and combine and enjoying all the cinematic shenanigans that go with it.

Ultimately it would be difficult to talk much of what will happen in this little expansion without giving sections away, which would spoil the gameplay somewhat. Truth be told however, that ultimately Episode One is pretty much a few extra levels of Half-Life 2, except that the gameplay balance seems a little off. The first half of the Episode is somewhat dumbed down; you’ll get your super version of the gravity gun early on which I can’t help but feel is bit ‘hey, you remember this? It was great wasn’t it!’ whilst the second half sporadically swaps between a stroll in the park and frustrating mayhem.

The additional downside of giving you the gravity gun at the start, instead of, say, the famed crowbar, is that you can go through the entire Episode only ever firing one shot (to break a lock, no less). Having to get up close and personal with a Head Crab wielding only a crowbar was somewhat more intense than picking them off from a distance, or lobbing objects at them. Seeing as the game’s usually focus is on intense battles and creepy situations, I’m surprised they chose to do things this way. Likewise, Alyx partners you throughout with not only a magical ever-loaded gun, but some kind of invincibility vest on.

The story progresses nicely though and the cutscenes and dialogue have tried to go for a more immersive approach than previously, getting you involved with character development and making you feel like it’s worth saving these sorry souls. Of course, the downside with that is all the token soon-to-be-dead guys look the same to me. I wouldn’t be much of a hero if I were playing the game - “hey, Harry how’s it going? – Frank. Right, right…ahem”. This is probably why Gordon’s mute; he doesn’t have to remember anybody. Nod and smile. Nod and smile.

The game, regardless of not having a huge graphical overhaul still looks as pretty as it did, which at least makes up for the fact that we have to once again pretend we’ve never seen a seesaw before in our life and grin and bear having to solve another puzzle with ‘it’ as the key feature. Sigh. Another problem is that with Gordon saying natta throughout your adventure, you’ll hear plenty from Alyx. That woman has to comment on every bloody thing she sees or feels. While not unlike reality, as far as my gaming experience goes I’d like some peace and quiet from time to time.

All this being said, if you’re a Half-Life fan this isn’t going to bother you much - it’s more of the same and a continuation in the storyline. Additionally, Episode Two is a lot better in our opinion, so consider Episode One a refresher course in all things Half-Life and get yourself the next instalment as that, ladies and gentlemen has been worth the wait.